Holy shneikey, Imma What am I?
by Tinfoil Paopou
Summary: Caitlin Turner got on the wrong bus. The wrong bus drove off a cliff. Caitlin ends up as a sidekick at Sky High. Lash likes her, she likes Warren. What more is there to say?
1. Chapter 1

**Holy shneikey, Imma... What am I?**

By Warren Peace's girl.

Chapter 1.

* * *

My mom has got to be one of the most annoying people on the planet. As soon as I get to like my school, tucked away safely in nice, SAFE Oregon, she moves me across the country to freaking WESTCHESTER NEW YORK because of malpractice. Not only that, but now I'm going to a 'Prestigious, girls-only academy' for the rest of my natural high school life! Now, if you want to know me, here's what to know. My name is Caitlin Turner, I have short brown hair that goes to my shoulders that curls under slightly, same with the bangs, and bright blue eyes that change to purple when I'm sad, slightly red when I'm angry, and white when I hate life in all it's natural and unnatural forms. As of last weekend, I learned that I have to wear a school uniform that has PETTICOATS! WHAT KIND OF SCHOOL MAKES THE GIRLS WEAR PETTICOATS? Eh, so here I am, minding my own business with a bright blue plaid skirt with PETTICOATS, a white blouse and a blue plaid sweater vest on, my black and blue studded arm socks on and my hair up in pigtails, sitting on the curb with my backpack, waiting for the bus. I pulled on my DJ style stereo headphones, listening to Martini kiss by Senses fail, and pulled out a copy of the book Rakkety Tam. I started to read as I saw bus wheels roll up, and the door opened. Without looking up from my book, I got on the bus and walked to the back, sitting in an unoccupied row of seats. I could feel stares directed at me, but I had learned to ignore them a while ago, so I shrugged them off. After a while I felt the seat next to me depress, but I didn't even look up. But then, something weird happened. Seatbelts yanked me back onto the seat, and a lap bar sprung out of the seat in front of me. I looked around and finally noticed, there were GUYS on this bus! Everyone started to scream, and I just screamed along with them.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!" I shrieked, but nobody heard me. Oh yeah, I hate my life.

* * *

The 'bus', if you could even call it that, finally landed and I ran for the exit, getting off and collapsing to my knees, kissing the pavement. A bunch of people around me probably didn't think I was very sane but hey, that's their problem. I jumped up suddenly, shaking my head and looking around. The school looked like a museum, and a bunch of freshmen were heading towards what looked like the gym, so I followed them. I joined the back of the group as it went into the large gym, and we pretty much just grouped in front of a podium. The Principal didn't show up, so I didn't know whether or not I was even in the right place. _Should I be in a class? Or finding out how to get to Ravenswood girls academy? _I wondered, but didn't have much time left to wonder as a large white comet streaked into the gym, and took the form of an old lady in a suit. At that, I sensed a speech coming on, so I pulled on my headphones and set my I-pod on 'Everything about you'. After about five minutes of this, in which I thought about contemplating murder in all of its forms, the Principal turned back into the comet and flew away, and the entirety of the freshies, including me, had this foreboding sense to turn around. A teacher, I assumed the one for gym, was standing on a podium that somehow sprang out of the floor. He said something that I couldn't, and didn't, want to hear, and then pointed at me. A couple of kids pushed me to the podium, and I wondered if my life could possibly get any worse. The coach yanked my earphones off my ears.

"Show me your power." The coach said to me, and I looked at him like he was crazy.

"Power? Like a superhero? I'm not X-Factor positive! I got on the wrong bus!" I said, and the gym teacher laughed.

"The bus only lets X-Factor positive kids on. Nice try, now show me your power!" The teacher said, and I glared at him, my eyes slightly flecked with red.

"Get this past your thick skull. I. Have. No. POWERS!" I yelled at the teacher.

"**SIDEKICK!**" The teacher boomed out, and I pulled my headphones back up on my head, closed my eyes and turned to the teacher. I raised one arm, palm forward to him.

"Javoul, mien fhurer!" I yelled, and the guy nearly pushed me off the platform!

"Wes McCoy!" The teacher yelled out behind me, and a small kid with bushy mouse blonde hair bunched up in a green knit hat that looked like it came from a Beatles music video set walked onto the platform, carrying a camping water bottle full of what looked like dirty socks.

"I shake the water bottle and make a wish, then sniff the socks and it comes true for an hour." Said Wes, and he shook the bottle and said 'Super strength'.

"CAR!" The teacher yelled out, and a large rusted out jalopy fell from the ceiling. The kid caught it on one finger, then chucked it up in the air with both hands, and hit it across the room.

"I call 'em sockoids." Said Wes, and the teacher gave him a funny look.

"HERO!" The teacher yelled. Five heroes and seventeen sidekicks later, in which a black girl shrunk in size, grew gossamer wings, and fired twin electrical bolts from her hands, a boy turned off a holowatch to show that he was in fact green, and then shape shifted into several different animals lightning fast, a boy with a mullet stomped on the ground and sent a shockwave across the floor and a girl with green hair and skin that she wasn't afraid to show used a green energy construct to catch the car and throw it across the room, I was still bored, scared out of my mind, and extremely happy at the same time. I looked around, bored, and spotted a guy about halfway up the stands, sitting completely alone. He had long black hair and appeared to be wearing black, black and more black. I raised my eyebrows, slowly wiping a small trickle of drool off my chin with my arm sock.

"Woo, hot guy." I said under my breath, and I slowly slid away from the group, getting off the gym floor and heading up the stands, stopping at the end of loner-boy's row. I sat down and looked over. From here, I noticed that he had a red streak in his hair, his jacket appeared to be leather, and he had cut off gloves on too. I seriously reconsidered sitting anywhere near him, but I figured '_Hey, compared to what mom is going to say, this'll be a walk in the park._', so I sealed my fate with a snap of the elastic around the edge of my arm sock, and went over and sat in the seat next to loner-boy.

"Get away from me." Loner-boy growled out, and I felt just a little bit creeped out.

"Typical Loner-boy snobbery." I said, tossing one of my pigtails over my shoulder and fixing loner-boy with a glare. The glare was returned full force, letting me get a glimpse of one hell of a nice looking face, and he was TAN. That was a bonus, I thought to myself.

"Alright. Get away from me or I'll roast you." Said loner-boy, just as a redhead, a black kid, a blonde boy dressed like a rapper poser, the poster boy for some army school and a girl in all black and purple sat down around us.

"HI! I'm Layla!" Said the redhead, holding a hand out to me. I kind of looked at it, then grabbed the hand and shook it.

"good to hear it!" I said, giving the girl a glare. She seemed unfazed, like she was used to it or something.

"Yeah right." Muttered loner-boy. Layla shook her head and laughed.

"Don't take his evil demeanor seriously, Warren's just like that." Said Layla, and I grinned. Hey, I can grin if I want to.

"Good to know that under that crusty, weird shell, is a total softie." I said sarcastically, and then put a hand over my mouth in mock-shock. "Oh, I'm sorry, I just described an old loaf of bread, didn't I?" I asked, earning a few snorts of laughter from poser boy, poster boy and black and purple girl.

"Nice one!" Said poser boy, holding out a fist, which I reluctantly bumped with my own. hey, I gotta make friends somehow.

"Thank you, thank you, I'm here to harass Warren here until Friday. Then I'm back on Monday. Oop, wait, no... I just got on the wrong bus this morning. Shoot." I said, realizing that I was doomed like a snowball in hell when I got home.

* * *

My first 'class' was something called 'Bad puns 101', and I took that as a bad sign. the classroom looked like a large collage, with multiple flags on the ceiling, posters of everything from Yoda holding a book to the cover art for the Beatles 'Abbey Road' CD. A large mobile made of driftwood, string, bumper stickers and a globe hung in front of the teacher's desk, and the teacher himself was a sight to behold. He had curly black hair, silver rimmed glasses and an earring in both ears, and was wearing a dress shirt and tie. I sat in the very back of the class, wondering if my mom had put out a missing person report yet, when the teacher hit a button on his desk. A TV screen popped out of the ceiling, and a projector in the back of the room started playing a blue screen.

"Class, I am Mash. This year, you will be learning the fundamentals of bad puns, such as, say, if you caught someone turning old racehorses into glue, you would say Holy horse shoes, Batman, Superman, or whoever it is that you are sidekick to." Said Mash. He looked directly at me, and pointed. "You, girl in the back in the blue and white dress. If I was the villain and I was a pyrokinetic, what would you say while your hero used their powers against me?"

I stammered for a minute, then thought of something totally rude, degrading and evil to say to a pyrokinetic that was funny to the user, but not the receiver.

"Uhh, 'Curb his fiery temper?'" I half asked, propping my feet up on the desk. Mash nodded, and hit the button on his desk again. The TV blared into life, showing the Commander pummeling a guy in a 17th century English Baron costume. A guy was standing off to the side, in a red, white and blue costume. He was shouting encouragement to the Commander.

"Curb Baron Battle's fiery temper, Commander!" Yelled the sidekick, as the TV crew got a close-up of the Commander hitting Baron Battle under the chin and sending him flying. I beamed, because I thought I was right and so much better than everyone else.

"Very good. However, you could have seen this back in '90, when Baron Battle was captured." Said Mash. I let my mouth drop open for a minute, before responding.

"HEY! That film is dated to a month before I was born!" I yelled, pointing to the date of the TV recording in the bottom left corner. Mash nodded, then continued.

"You could have seen a recording, like this one here." Said Mash, and I stood up.

"THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS! You say good job, then accuse me of copying something that some strongman in spandex said before I was born?" I yelled, and Mash motioned for me to sit down.

"Please, miss... Please! Sit down!" Said Mash.

"NO! I'm not gonna sit down because you just outright LIED to me!" I yelled. Mash's face turned so red I thought he would explode, until I was grabbed by the back of my shirt by nothing and nobody, and was hauled out of the class. I kicked and screamed, but I was forcibly pushed into an extremely white room. I fell onto the ground on my face, and heard the door whoosh shut behind me. I slowly stood up and looked around at my surroundings. No escapes, not even a window. There was one other tenant of the detention room, a guy in a striped shirt, blue jeans and a red sleeveless hoodie. his hair was about as long as mine, curled under like mine, and had long bangs like mine. Hell, his hair was the same color as mine!

"Watcha in for?" Stripsey asked, and I shrugged.

"I expressed an opinion contrary to the teacher's." I said, and took a seat next to stripsey.

"Eh, I 'back sassed' the secret code development teacher." Said stripsey, and I laughed.

"Aren't you a bit old to be in high school?" I asked, and stripsey shrugged.

"I was forced to repeat senior year because I spent nearly all of it in juvenile hall." Said stripsey. I nodded, making an 'oh' look at him. The door slid open again, and Wes, the kid with the 'sockoids', was pushed in.

"--and leave that Bozo clown at home!" Someone yelled, before the door hissed shut again. Wes pulled a small white happy meal toy out of his green hat and blew it up, taking the form of a Bozo the clown blow up toy.

"And yet they can never take, pop or in any way destroy Bozo." Said Wes, before sticking the clown doll back in his hat. Weird day much? I didn't know the half of it yet.

* * *

Mah first story... Do doo doot do... 


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed. If you didn't review, it is because you hate me or the fact that I flamed your precious 'Lt. Commander Richie'. Big whoop, the comedy is all rip-offs anyway.

* * *

I sat in the white room for about an hour, clicking my fingers together. Finally, stripsey, who had introduced himself quite courteously to me as Lash, along with an explanation as to why he was retaking senior year, spoke up.

"The detention room negates your powers." Said Lash, and I pulled a very large, very heavy looking hardback copy of 'To kill a Mockingbird' out of my backpack.

"I'm going to hit you upside the head with this book if you don't tell me why you think I have powers." I threatened, and Lash shrugged.

"You're here, aren't you?" Said Lash. I grinned my evil grin and steepled my fingers. Lash shot me a look out of the corner of his eye that broadcasted 'You're crazy!'.

"Yes, and you look pretty sensible, for a guy that spent every year since sophomore giving people swirlies; Which I may add, you will not do to me under penalty of a lawsuit." I said, just as the pneumatic door in front of us opened, revealing the Principal.

"Lash and Wes are free to go. However, I have to have a talk with miss..." Said the principal. Lash got up and left, and Wes bolted out of there, then bolted right back in because Bozo was still on the desk next to me. I, being one to know when I was in trouble, hung my head and supplied my last name.

"Turner." I mumbled out. The door behind the Principal hissed shut, and the Principal was now the only person in here besides me.

"You're joking." Said the Principal. I shook my head, and the Principal gave me a wide-eyed look. "You're rea-really her daughter?" The Principal asked. I had just hung my head the whole time, formulating a plan as to how to get out and off this school, but the plan involved ice skates, something I didn't have.

"Who are we talking about, now?" I asked, playing dumb to get the Principal to leave me alone.

"Cute." Said the principal, and she opened the door. "You may go, since you apparently don't know who your parents are."

"Thanks." I said, getting up and high-tailing it outta there. It was fun to run through all the halls, looking for the cafeteria. I skidded to a halt as I passed the doors, skidding several feet before running in. Hey! My shoes are slippery, ok! I looked around and saw Lash in the corner with a piece of literature that I knew couldn't be his. One, because it was Count Leo Tolstoy's War and Peace, and two, Warren was lit up in flame all along his arms and advancing towards Lash.

"Hey you two, break it up." I said, running and getting between them.

"Oh come on. After that little conversation in the detention room, I wouldn't be surprised if you liked me!" Said Lash. My head whipped around.

"Go to hell Lash, I don't like you." I said, and Lash made a kissy face at me! I turned, walked up to him, pulled off one of my spiked arm socks, and hit him across the face with it. Then I brought up one knee as hard as I could, catching him in the nards and making him fall to the ground whimpering in pain. I grabbed War and Peace off the ground and walked over to Warren.

"This is yours." I said, pushing it onto his chest and walking past him.

* * *

I was sitting with _A_ lunch that didn't look too appetizing, at a table that everyone seemed to avoid. I figured somebody must have died there or something. I felt someone staring at the back of my head with the intensity of someone about to kill someone else, so I craned my neck back to see Warren.

"Hey War, enjoying your long, boring and tedious Russian book?" I asked, and he scowled.

"You're at my table." Warren growled out. I smiled a smile I hoped looked nice, and tried to talk sweetly between clenched teeth.

"War, buddy, pal, _AMIGO_. Your name isn't on the table. Go scare some freshies into giving up their table, since you're the big, bad sophomore with the evil demeanor. Hell, you could probably even match that Baron Battle guy that Mash was talking about. Looked like one hell of a wus-" I was cut off as Warren grabbed the front of my shirt and hauled me up to eye level with him, which was about an inch.

"Don't compare me to my father, you sorry little plastic." Warren growled. I promptly raised one fist and hit him with a right hook.

"One, I didn't think the wusses were all related. Two, don't touch me, 12 years of intensive training in ballet, kickboxing and taequando. Three, I'm NOT a plastic!" I said, before Warren took a swing at me. I blocked, grabbed his clenched fist, and twisted. He swung his other fist, hitting me in the stomach none too lightly. I collapsed to the ground, holding my stomach.

"You certainly take a hit like a plastic." Said Warren, wiping a small trickle of blood from the corner of his mouth with his glove. I grinned, and got up.

"And when you did the glare and wiped off the blood, you looked like Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones. Now cut the wuss punches and cut to the crap. I only have the rest of lunch." I said, using my middle finger to make the 'come on' motion. Warren charged at me, yelling like a Neanderthal with both fists up in flames. I sidestepped and he ran right past me, into a ceiling support beam, and I hit him on the back of the neck with one side of my flat hand. Just like the move was supposed to do, Warren crumpled to the ground, out for the count. I hacked up a lugi and spat it on him, most of it comprised of blood from the none too light punch he had given me. A bunch of the kids around me were staring in awe, like I had just exorcized Satan or something.

"What?" I asked, before picking up my bag and walking out of the cafeteria without my lunch.

* * *

By the end of the day I had signed three textbook covers, three more than needed. Hell, I didn't even know what I was signing them FOR! Warren had been in the nurse's office since lunch, and I had a feeling that the reason the soundtrack for 'DOOM 3' was playing in my head was a bad one. Lash had tried to pin me against a wall several times, meeting a swift kick in the nuts each time. God men are dense. So, here I was, now standing on the curb four blocks down from my house, in the forest, watching the bus roll away. Up the road about a mile was a huge mansion that belonged to a Charles Xavier. Helluvah weird name. So, I started walking, waving goodbye to the girl in all black leather that had introduced herself as Terry, and then bared Vampire fangs at me. I walked for a while, kicking a pinecone along. I heard growling, and turned around. My next door neighbor, Mr. Howlett, was growling and glaring at me from his spot in the woods where he was apparently deer hunting. I growled back and ran the next two blocks home. I kicked open the front gate and kicked at the thick layer of pine needles that was already cumulating on the ground around me. Damn fall. I walked up the front steps and opened the door, and was nearly thrown back out as my mom ran up and hit me.

"Where the fuck were you? Ravenswood called and said you didn't show up. TELL ME!" Mom yelled. Now, very few things unsettle me, and my mother when she's mad is one of them. I got up off the porch where I had been laying since mom had pushed me down while yelling, and spat a tiny bit of dried blood out onto one of her designer shoes.

"I went to a different school on accident." I said, and tried to push past her but she pushed me back again.

"Don't you go telling me lies now. Why do you blatantly lie to my face?" Mom asked, and I shrugged.

"I dunno. Prolly cuz I'm NOT LYING!" I yelled. Then I ran off the porch and around the house, climbing up the trellis outside of my room and through my window. My door was locked and barred, thank god, and I quickly pulled the uniform off and put on a pair of pink pajamas. Then I sat down on my bed and thought.

_Should I keep going to Sky High and tell my mom the truth, or lie and just go to Ravenswood?_ I thought, but I wasn't making sense of myself. I grabbed my bear huge overstuffed bear and put it in a headlock.

"What's the matter, Warren? Can't take a hit?" I asked the bear, turning it around and laying a few punches to its stomach. "Or can't bear to be beaten by a girl?" I asked again, hitting harder. Then I changed mind frames. "What's wrong with you Lash? You seemed so nice and courteous in the detention room, now you try and assault me every chance you get!" I nearly yelled, drop kicking the bear across the room, my eyes flashing red. The doorbell rang, and I heard my mom answer it.

"Caitlin, come down here!" Mom yelled, and I jumped out of the window, hitting the ground in a crouched position. I ran around to the front of the house.

"Yeah mom?" I asked. A bald guy in a wheelchair turned around in the foyer of our house. A lady with long white hair and a lady with short red hair were both with him.

"Honey, this is Charles Xavier. He's here to offer you a place at his school. You wouldn't get a chance to skip classes like you did at Ravenswood." Said mom. If this was an anime, I would have facevaulted. I started stammering for a minute, then Xavier spoke.

"Caitlin, at my school you would have a chance to be with people like yourself, people as gifted as you are." Said Xavier. I couldn't help it, I started to laugh. I grabbed the doorframe to steady myself, holding my stomach as I laughed. I suddenly quieted and stood up straight, my face betraying no emotion.

"Funny. No, I'll pass on your school for mutants." I said. Mom came right up and slapped me across the face.

"Caitlin, I'll have none of that! Mr. Xavier is a very nice man, how dare you call his school a mutie haven!" Mom yelled, hitting me again.

"MOM! I went over there over the summer to see if I could make friends! I saw a girl walk through the door! One of the teachers blasted something with his eyes! A blue guy teleported to the roof! I'm not a liar!" I yelled out between punches and slaps. Mom was suddenly pulled off of me, and I got up. Mom was floating up by the ceiling! Suddenly, her complexion became white and glassy, her hair turned into icicles and her clothes turned into a blue leotard with a snowflake pattern on it. She fired several icicles at the redhead apparently holding her in the air, one clipping the lady's arm deep enough to see bone. I gaped, watching as my mom then threw icicles at the unsuspecting lady with the white hair, catching her in the side and traveling all the way through. I gasped as mom turned on Xavier, and could only watch as she formed an icicle in one hand and threw it. The icicle, however, stopped just in front of Xavier's face.

"There will be none of this, Catherine." Said Xavier, and he put both hands to his temples. Mom fell to the ground in what appeared to be a coma.

"Ohmygodohmygodohmygod!" I squealed, and took off running. I ran out of the house, across the lawn, jumped the fence and ran across the street into the woods. Twigs snapped under my feet, leaves crunching the same way as I ran, finally stubbing my toe and falling. I felt like I had been running for hours, and I didn't know where I was. I just laid there for a while, sobbing onto the arm of my pajamas. Sure, I was scared, who wouldn't be after you saw your own mother try to kill several people because they wanted me to go to their school? I drew my legs up into a fetal position, still sobbing uncontrollably. I heard someone coming, and it didn't sound like wheels, so I figured it was someone else. Someone laid a hand on my shoulder, and I lashed out, scratching them with my nails.

"KID! I'm tryin' to help you!" Said a gruff voice. I looked up, it was Mr. Howlett. "C'mon, lets get you to the institute." Said Mr. Howlett. He picked me up and slung me over his shoulder, and carried me. A few minutes later, we were on the grounds of the Xavier institute I mentioned earlier. Mr. Howlett set me down on the front steps and knocked, and a girl with black hair and two white streaks that made her look like a skunk opened the door.

"Logan!" The girl yelled, and hugged Mr. Howlett. Then she noticed me, the state of my clothing, and knelt down next to me.

"Back off skunk." I snapped when she laid a gloved hand on my shoulder.

"Hey, Ahm just tryin to help." Said skunk head, taking the hand off my shoulder and backing off.

"That and a dollar will get you an ice cream cone." I muttered, and a guy in a black hoodie and red sunglasses came out of the mansion and stood in front of me.

"Kid, get inside. Your mother has been arrested."

* * *

Two chapters in one day? Eh, I had them pre-prepared. 


	3. Chapter 3

Yes, it's a slight X-men crossover.

* * *

I got up the next morning and threw the covers off of my head and got out of bed to an unfamiliar room. Recalling the night before, I grimaced and looked down at my PJs. They were covered in moss and twigs, but the gray hoodie and sweats next to the bed appeared clean, so I changed into those and pulled on my blue sneakers that had been so courteously placed next to my bed. Not knowing where I was exactly, I walked down the hall, looking for a set of stairs. I finally found a set after falling down them, landing at the front door where my backpack lay. Terry, the vampire girl, walked out of the kitchen with what looked like raw bacon in her mouth, roughly kicking me out of the way and walking out the door. I got up and grabbed my bag, following her the mile or so to the bus stop for Sky High.

"Why am I even going to Sky High again?" I asked myself.

"Why should I know freshie?" Terry asked. Definitely not a morning person. I shrugged and watched the bus pull up, and I got on and walked to the back. I watched a girl with flowing green hair get on at the next stop, and then the bus drove off the cliff.

* * *

The bus landed and I hopped out of my open window, hitting the ground running as to get to my next class without being seen by either Lash or Warren. No such luck. Warren was standing directly in my path, both hands up in flames. Lash somehow got behind me, and snaked one of his arms around my stomach.

"Lashell Dayton, let me go!" I yelled, pulling at his arm but it wouldn't come off. Finally, I bent down and bit his arm (I figured I could wash out my mouth later) as hard as I could. Lash yelled and let go, leaving me to face Warren. One of the geeks, a kid with sound powers, started playing the theme from 'The good, the bad and the ugly'. I flexed all my fingers, then suddenly reached into my backpack and pulled out a squirt gun.

"What are you going to do? Squirt me?" Asked Warren. I nodded, and pumped. I pulled the trigger after about a minute of pumping, and shot a steady stream of red paste at Warren. It hit him in the chest, and I kept firing until he was nearly covered in the stuff.

"With ketchup, yes." I said, holstering the squirt gun on the side of my backpack and walking past Warren, who was trying to burn the ketchup off of him. He reached out and grabbed my arm with a grip that felt like he was trying to break it, drew me towards him, and whispered in my ear.

"Gym, you're dead." Warren hissed, and I couldn't help but shiver. He let go of me, and I high-tailed it out of there.

* * *

My first class was with a Mr. Boy, who was apparently the retired sidekick of the Commander. I ran into the classroom and got a seat just as he was finishing roll call.

"Clarke, Riley?" Asked Mr. Boy, and a kid in the front row with black and blonde hair raised a hand. "Keane, Frances?" Mr. Boy called, and a girl in the second row with purple hair raised a hand.

"Manning, Sarah?" A girl in the second row with bright red and gold hair raised a hand.

"Strong, Kara and Alara?" Two girls raised their hands from the third row. They looked like twins from what I could see.

"T-Turner, Caitlin?" Mr. Boy asked. I answered by flipping the guy off, wondering how I got on the roll call sheets. Fortunately for me, I was having better luck than earlier, because Mr. Boy somehow didn't see my middle finger. A girl next to me, with long gold and silver hair and platinum bangs leaned over and poked me on the side.

"Hi, I'm Preciosa. How are you?" She asked. I shrugged and pulled my earphones up, listening to Simple Plan. Then my luck ran out. Mr. Boy not only had seen me listening to music, he had also decided I was going to be the first to answer a question. He pointed to me, and I pulled off my headphones.

"Yeah?" I asked. He pointed to the problem on the board, well, actually it was a map. Schematics of the school.

"Map out a path to get from the gym to this room in less than two minutes. You can take as much time as you like." Said Mr. Boy. I came up with a sharpie, and located the gym, then started a path. It went through a small hallway towards the back of the gym I had never seen before, took a couple turns, and came out over my seat in the room. I looked, it was an air shaft.

"Very nice! You have mapped a path through the air shafts, a very good asset in a sidekick." Said Mr. Boy. I just growled and pulled my headphones up, walking back to my seat. Mr. Boy pointed back at me once I sat down, gesturing for me tu turn off my walkman. I did no such thing and pretended to clean my nails, setting my feet on my desk. Mr. Boy then began to wildly gesture for me to take off my headphones, which I finally decided to look up and take off my headphones.

"Yeah?" I asked for the second time that period, and the whole class broke out into laughter.

"Would you kindly leave the headphones off?" Asked Mr. Boy. I shrugged, and put my headphones back on, and just watched the rest of the lesson. The bell was a really annoying 'BRRRRRRRING', that went on for several minutes. I walked along the hall and saw Lash, Speed AND Warren all coming towards me. Warren had clumps of hair stuck together with ketchup residue, Lash's arm looked sore, and Speed looked like he wanted to break some necks. Wait a minute! I didn't do anything to Speed! Oh well. The same kid started playing the same song, and I pulled out the ketchup gun. Warren threw a fireball that was too big for me to dodge, and it melted my gun and I smelled burning hair. I looked at the singed ends of my hair, and gave Warren a death glare.

"DIE!" I yelled, grabbing a trashcan, running and hitting him upside the head with it. The trash can melted, and I backed away slowly.

"Hey babe, c'mere." Said Lash. I shook my head 'no', and he started to look pissed. "Look, I know you like me, admit it!"

"HOW MANY FUCKING FEET TO THE TESTICLES TO YOU NEED TO FIGURE OUT A GIRL DOESN'T LIKE YOU?" I yelled, and Lash turned redder than a beet. The color drained from his face, however, when I brought one foot up and kicked him in the nards. Speed was suddenly behind me, and he grabbed the unburnt side of my hair and tugged, and then he was gone. I turned, and he was behind me again, pulling my hair. I brought one elbow back, but it hit air. A sudden punch to the gut brought me to my knees, gasping for air. Warren walked up, both arms ablaze with a murderous look in his eyes.

"You. Will. Pay." Warren growled out.

"Shoot. What's that word again? Parsnip… Parsley… PARLAY!" I said, holding up both hands.

"Parlay?" Speed asked, suddenly behind me.

"According to the pirate's code, set down by Morgan and some other guy, you have to allow me safe passage to speak to your captain." I said. Warren let out a snort of laughter that sounded more like a dog barking, and Speed picked me up by the armpits.

"The captain is currently out cold because you kicked him so hard."


End file.
